Not what I expected

I spent all day yesterday with Austin - he helped me at the Big Ring Century bike ride (water station), took him to a birthday party and then took only him to church last night. Today, I decided I was going to spend a few hours with Ryan. It didn't end up that way at first. We decided to go to the park this morning and I took Austin as well. We had been there for about 30 minutes when I heard "Mom! Ryan's bleeding really bad!" Sure enough, it looked like the top of his toe had been sliced off (with the skin still attached), it was covered in sand and bleeding.

I took Austin back to my parent's house and off to the ER we went. Spending three hours in the ER was not what I meant by spending alone time with Ryan.

We read books and sang songs through his crying and, eventually, playing Angry Birds stopped the tears. Seriously - that game does wonders for my kids sometimes.

Ryan's nurse was a girl I went to high school with and she said that a guy we went to high school with was also in the ER. It was good to see her and catch up a bit.

In the end, our tax dollars that pay for my sons' military insurance went to good use...for a band-aid. The toe looked much worse than it was. They cleaned it, cut off the skin and gave him a band-aid. It could have been worse, and well, we did get to spend a few hours alone together :)

In Awe of Creation

I admit, I am not really a nature person. I like to be outdoors - hiking, camping, beach, bike riding - but I don't live for it. I like flowers and scenery because I think they are pretty. I like the weather, just because I like the changes in weather. I have a hard time looking at the nature that God created and being in awe of God's creation. I try - but it often feels fake. I try to teach my kids that God made it all and to respect nature and to look at it's beauty from the perspective of God revealing himself through it, but I struggle doing it myself.

On Friday night, I stood in awe of God's creation and the beauty He reveals of himself through it.

It was an amazing experience to share with my 4-year-old. We were driving home from Costco when it started to rain (again.) As we sat at a red light, it started to hail. While it was hailing, the sky to our left was bright blue with fluffy white clouds and the bright, almost blinding sun peaking out from them. The sky to our right was dark shades of grey and the biggest, brightest rainbow I had ever seen (honestly.) It was my son's first rainbow that he can remember.

It was beautiful and for the first time that I can remember, I was consumed with God's majesty - His creation - His love - His beauty - His order - His perfection. I can't explain it, but if you've ever experienced this you know what I am trying to say.

While my son was so excited about this rainbow, I took the opportunity to tell him the story of Noah and why God created rainbows. As I looked at the different scenes, the bright blue sky while it was hailing and the dark grey sky with the rainbow, it was such a reminder of God's presence and when all skies seem dark and worries are pounding down on me.

Photography

I love to take pictures. I love it! I inherited it from my dad. My sister loves it, my dad's sister loves it. My uncle loves it. I am sure there are even more people in my family who love it. I grew up going to garage sales with my dad while he was searching for old, antique cameras. When my prom dates picked me up, they were greeting with cameras and fake lighting. I have so many pictures form my childhood because of it and all of the memories to go along with them. My dad bought a new camera not too long ago and I really like to play with it. I recently took it to AZ with us and took some great pictures of our friends. A lot of my close friends have started photography business and they are awesome! I just like it as a hobby :)

For my birthday this year, I bought myself PS Elements and some Paint The Moon Actions. Here are my attempts at "cool" photo editing. ***If any of my awesome photography friends are reading this (you all know who you are), feel free to give me tips and pointers.

There's no place like home...

I am so confused about where my "home" is. I don't feel like it is anywhere right now. It is more accurate to say I think my home is in two places - 1/2 in AZ and 1/2 in CA. My friends who are like my family are in AZ and my job and church are in CA. 

The boys and I went to AZ this weekend to celebrate my birthday and see friends. I thought I was over AZ and had made CA my home, but as soon as I got to AZ it felt like my home again. Even the boys want to move back there. We were so happy. 

I don't know what to do. We will always be struggling here - or at least it seems that way. The only reasons I left AZ were because my ex would not leave our home when he started his affair again and I needed to leave AZ to get away from him to heal. He's not there anymore. He will probably move here, but that doesn't bother me as I have healed. Oh., I just don't know. CA is so lonely, stressful, busy, fast-paced and I feel like I can never relax. AZ is slower, tons of friends, less stressful, relaxing...

I feel like moving into a closet right now :(, but instead I'll share some pictures of our trip to AZ and how happy we were there. See if you agree.

Signs 2012 is going to be a great year - February

1. God loves me
2. Getting to know great friends at church
3. I forgive my ex-husband
4. Continued success and acknowledgement at work
5. Working out, eating healthy and feeling great
6. Ready to date (but I am picky)
7. Trip to AZ in March to see friends
8. Friends from AZ coming to CA in April (twice)
9. One of my Best Friends is pregnant
10. Going to Best Friend's baby shower and to see her when the baby is born
11. Saving money
12. Teaching my boys to have a heart of service
13. One of my best friends coming to CA in June and Disneyland together

REPOST: Please Exorcise my 3-year-old

This is a repost from my old blog, 

but well worth posting again since nothing has changed!!!

I don't believe in the version of exorcism portrayed in horror movies, but after the past few nights of trying to put my three-year-old to bed, I am re-considring the validity of it. 

After the first few time of him getting out of bed, whining, "Mommy. I. Just. Can't. Sleeeeeeep," 

here are his list of abnormal behaviors:

Convulsions: 

 lying on his bed or on the ground, flopping like a fish out of water, and back arching and chest pumping like an alien is going to pop out of him.

Silent Staring:  

sitting "criss-cross applesauce" in his bed with glaring eyes, not saying a word. Just staring - usually with his arms crossed too. I am just waiting for him to start levitating.

Death Standing:  

opening the door so I go check on him (or go to yell at him) only to find him standing silently behind the door. Think children in the hotel hallway from "The Shining."

Uncontrollable Agitations: 

 when putting him back into bed, his kicking, hitting and head-butting. Head-spinning coming soon. I am lucky to have any teeth left.

Vomiting: 

 Okay, this one hasn't happened yet, but combine all of the behaviors above, 

and I think the movies may very well be onto something. 

Zucchini's on top

"Mom, why are they singing about zucchini's?" ~ Ryan

I am a very conservative person, and over the past few years I have chosen to listen to mostly worship music or music without sex, alcohol, drugs and cursing.  But every once in a while, I enjoy a bit of JT, Britney, Pink etc. It brings back a lot of memories and it's fun to dance to. 

I also like a bit of Katy Perry (ssshhhhh...).

So when my son asked why Katy Perry was singing about zucchini's I just said "I don't know" and changed the song. I guess my soon-to-be 4-year-old is getting too old and too smart. 

I am publicly apologizing to Katy - it can only be you and I when we meet again. My boys don't need to know about "Daisy Dukes" and "bikini's on top" yet. Society will teach them sooner than they need to know all on it's own. 

Us "California Girls" are pretty unforgettable though...

California girls we're unforgettable

Daisy Dukes, zucchini's on top...